Coping with the Stress of Christmas and Infertility

BAH HUMBUG ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’

We have all seen the Hallmark version: the loving, happy laughing family gathered around the Christmas tree. Then there’s real life. Why is that, upon reaching adulthood, the ‘magic’ of the season seems to lose its essence that was once bestowed upon us growing up. Jesus was born into a family that had its own Christmas drama of sorts- an unmarried pregnant woman, a long hard trip, and a no vacancy sign at the local motel. For many, Christmas can easily be the most joyous time of year of the most stressful. Buying and wrapping gifts, sending cards, close encounters of the family kind, extra baking and full schedules all work together to create an atmosphere of tension. Fertility treatments can be stressful, too. Hormone treatments, a packed medical schedule, worry and expectations all work together to create an atmosphere of anxiety. When you add them together, you have a pressure cooker filled with stress worry and a potential meltdown.

10 TIPS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE CHRISTMAS PERIOD
1. Rather than getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas, take a few moments to sit out in your garden with a cup of tea, watch the sunset and just breath.
2. Plan Ahead. Before everyone converges on a relative’s house, talk about or think through what to expect and set some boundaries. Make a game plan. “Don’t become a victim”.
3. For those worried about being lonely plan ahead finding some things you’d like to do and invite others to join you. Get tickets to a holiday show, volunteer for a local organization, go for walk/hike. Then hold yourself to the schedule. “Remember there’s a part of you that will want to do nothing but stay at home”.
4. Don’t be afraid to be a little selfish. If you need time away from the frenzy TAKE IT. Take care of yourself. When the family gets to be too much, it might be time to leave. Think of an exit strategy ahead of time.
5. Protect yourself during this very emotional and stressful time. Stress and depression levels can increase if you don’t have adequate sleep, don’t exercise and eat nutritious foods. Get enough sleep, enough exercise and eat healthy foods.
6. Give yourself a break. This is the time of year when you don’t need to think about fertility. Instead of focusing on getting pregnant and fertility treatments, do something different for yourself. Make it a tradition to relax.
7. Create a new tradition. For my partner Christmas is a very difficult time, for the two of us we have created our own Christmas tradition. Every year we have dinner at China Town, mind you it’s the only place that’s open!
8. Look out for others and yourself. Be sensitive to others-those who might be especially vulnerable this year. Sometimes helping others can help you forget about your own troubles for a while. Volunteer in a soup kitchen or shelter, buy presents for a child whose holiday would otherwise be bleak. Sing Christmas carols.
9. Doing that spiritual preparation will change your expectation. To cope with infertility over the holidays, stay in touch with God or Buddha or the Universe – whoever or whatever grounds you. Take time to breathe deeply and say a prayer, or just sit on a park bench and reflect on this season of your life. If you’re disconnected from your soul or Spirit, you’ll find that coping with infertility is almost impossible.
10. Use communication and empathy. Don’t lock your feelings inside. Share with your partner how these holidays are affecting you. Together you can make it through.